why.........

why did I take his calls?
why did  I speak kindly to him?
why does he still turn me on so much?
why does his voice calm me down?

why is this happening..........who am I becoming?  How do I deal with all of this?

I hurt to my core.
The pain is suffocating.

I don't know what to do.

I love him...........I am so stupid.  I am pathetic.  But I want him.

I want him so much I am willing to accept him the way he is just to have him in my life.............

AM I?????????