dark day

i am not sure what i am doing. i feel like nothing will work out. i dont know where t go from here. it seems i have made a mess of it all. my job was supposed to be temporary. i would move and there would be something else. but here i sit still alone still in this same job same house no real friends no one to talk to unable to face the future. knowing this is all there is?i wanted so much more. i wanted to mean so much more. i wanted to be valued.i wanted to be loved and needed. and wanted. i feel so worthless. and numb

lost

i feel so alone again. so unsure . i don't know where i am going. i don't know who i am. i try to be a good person. i continually fail. i am not a good teacher. i have no real friends. i have no interests. i have nothing...except my daughter. i think i am a pretty good mother to her but time will tell. i have no self esteem. i cant stop from crying. i don't sleep. i don't want to get out of bed. i cant seem to clean up anything.

i feel like a total loser. i love with all my heart, but i am never good enough. no one will ever stay. everyone wants me to change.

i feel like i have shut down inside. i really don't feel anything anymore. i am not happy. i am not sad. i just feel nothing. there is no reason to feel anything. no one knows or cares where i am or how i feel (maybe hj)

i feel so far away from God. i feel so far away from myself. i don't know how this happened but there is just nothing left.