Right of First Refusal

All I can think right now is how is the possible?? What in the world can the judge or legislature or whoever it is that decides these things be thinking??

After 8 years of verbal abuse, I finally have the strength to ask hubby to leave. I told him to be out Nov.1. He said he could be out Dec. 1. I said okay. So tonight he tells me he is going to have "right of first refusal" added to our divorce. I have never heard of this. So he explains it to me that anytime I want someone to watch our daughter or hire a babysitter I have to call him first.

This sounds reasonable, right? No! Well he would be free I would have to pay a babysitter. He gets to spend more time with our daughter. Isn't that a win for everyone? NO!!

Somehow some judge or whatever thinks it is a good idea that every time I need to go out or on a date or our daughter is sick and would stay home from school that it is a good idea I call my ex-husband. I have to subject myself to his verbal abuse over and over and over.

That is why I am getting the divorce. I can't take the abuse anymore. I wanted to hold on to the family. I have tried to find a way to live through this nightmare. But I can't take the assault on my self esteem and my spirit anymore.

He has only hit me actually one time back in the summer when we first moved back home. I called the police. They stood around laughing with him. Told me they wouldn't take a veteran in unless they had to. Said he didn't really hit me because it was with an open hand and no marks. Told me if I was so scared I should take the baby and leave the house. So I did.

Tuesday he picked me up by the wrist. I was so scared. He raised his fist, but he did not hit me. He set me back down and shoved me backward. I didn't bother calling the police. No marks didn't happen. He said he would kill me if I called them. Not good for my daughter to have a dead mother and a jailbird father.

I have been doing things to try to build myself up. I wanted to rejoin the church choir for the Christmas music season. He told me I could go when my chores were done and the house was spotless.

I will never understand this man. I have given my whole heart to him. I would do anything for him. Last night I buffed his nails because he had a job interview. I BUFFED a man's nails the day after he threw me by my wrist. The same man who one year ago knocked up his co-worker and threw me into a wall. Here I am writing his resume, fielding calls from recruiters and buffing Fu&%ing nails.

I tried to google all of this and get some straight answers but there has to be some protection for the verbally abuse spouse to not have to submit themselves to the anger and judgement of a verbal abuser on a regular basis.