Do I just have STUPID written on my forehead???

Here's how the typical travel day goes for me:

I am always running late. I can start 6 hours early and I will still be late. I panic all the way to the airport remembering all the things I forgot.....dress shirt, toothbrush, pantyhose....

I get to the airport. I usually have some reason why they have to scan me.....lady is that metal in your bra? Why yes, it is, please feel me up............

Then I sit and wait. It does not matter where I am going or why there is always a plane delay. I have flown to Atlanta and Houston during hurricanes. Today, in Dallas TEXAS where it is like a million degrees and SUMMER the plane was broken because of the anti-de-icing button. Seriously folks!!

Today's rental car experience was actually painless, thank you Alamo, I am now your customer for life. But usually it involves something like all the cars are gone and even though you have a reservation all we have is either a 12 passenger van or a moped. Unless of course you want to upgrade to a car.

Then finding the hotel. If the cabbie doesn't get lost or almost kill me; (Once we had to stop on the road because there was a wreck and the cabbie was an EMT and had to stop legally and render aid. ) I will invariably get lost in the rental car. I even print out maps. Today, the map said take highway 96, but it was actually 94....Thank God the sun was still up and I could tell East from West.

I finally get to the hotel. And they stick me in the room next to the pool. I can hear the kids through the wall. Now depending on how well you know me, you know I never take the first room. Sometimes it is my fault and sometimes it is low blood sugar and sometimes.....they just like to screw with me!! So I go back to the desk and I can quote every single hotel person. "We only have one room left." RIGHT. Tonight, I just looked him straight in the eye and said don't give me the F^%(&%^ing handicap room. Why? every time Why??? Do I look like I need monkey bars in the bathroom?????? I have let them give me that room before and then the next night had to move because someone who needed the room checked in!! I just want a nice normal room, with hot water, no ceiling tiles falling on my head, not next to the construction, not next to the elevator or ice machine, without a wet towel and broken refrigerator, or a twin bed. These are just a few examples of what hotel clerks think is funny. Oh yea, preferrably on the no smoking side!! But they only have one room left............

I guess I just have STUPID written on my forehead!